I am embarrassed about something that I did last week, and am committed to getting through this the best that I can, even though it is embarrassing.
I will spare you the details, but the main part of it is that I had a bad experience with an establishment, and actually yelled at someone on the phone last week. I was frustrated to my breaking point, but that is not an excuse. I acted in a way that I do not like and am not proud of. To top it off, I would still like to make an appointment at this establishment, so that while a part of me would like to just write it off and forget it, that would kind of be cutting off my nose to spite my face. So I choose to apologize.
I finally have a plan. I will give them a few days to call me back, as they said they would  (though I will not hold my breath). If they do not call me back, I will call. I will apologize for last week to whoever I speak with, and try once more to get an appointment. I am working on my apology, as I would like it to be a REAL apology for my actions. I do not want to imply that “they made me do it.”  I actually believe that there is blame to be had on both sides, but that is for another time. I want to apologize for my part in it; there is no excuse for what I did, even if there are reasons. I was not raised that way, and I do not want to be like that. I am sorry for what I did – end of story.
I feel very strongly about this, perhaps because I have been on the receiving end of apologies that don’t really feel like apologies. In my mind, an apology  should be a sincere “I am sorry I did that.” It should not include a bunch of information on why what you did made me do it. If there is a problem, that should be dealt with directly and preferably in real time.
So wish me luck. I hope that my apology is accepted, but even if it is not, it will have been a sincere, real apology for what I did. I can’t control how it is received; I can control only how it is delivered.
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