There is a great post at Tiny Buddha regarding overcoming the power of suggestion. It’s a good read – I recommend it.
They talk about how sometimes people who tell you to be realistic really just want you to buy into their own version of reality. How true is that. It reminds me of some people who tell you your priorities aren’t straight, when really what they mean is that your priorities aren’t the same as theirs. I have touched on this before in this blog.
So often other people want you to change your thoughts or feelings to conform with theirs. My belief is that most of them have good intentions, they are just trying to put your thoughts and feelings into a template that they can understand and/or agree with. It may be tough for them to understand you through their own experiences and beliefs – their own lens, so to speak. So they try to cram what you are feeling and thinking into what they would be thinking and feeling if they were in your shoes. That’s great – for them. Not so much for you, perhaps.
It’s always good to be open to other suggestions and thoughts – maybe someone will think of something in a way that you hadn’t yet, and it will be helpful to you. And it is so important to put these things through your own filter – what am I really feeling right now, how does this fit in with my over-all plan? I try to take the path of taking everything in, and using what appeals to me, and disregarding the rest. I try to be sure that I am listening to myself first, before I listen to others. And I am really working on paying attention to that tiny little voice in my gut that is my intuition.
And yes, I am pretty sure there are people out there who don’t have good intentions. I have discovered that if I listen to myself first, and then listen to other suggestions and pick and chose what I like, I will naturally filter them out anyway, so I don’t worry about them too much.
I used to always think that if someone disagreed with me, they must be right and I must be wrong. I am working on not only listening to myself, but trusting myself and my intuition these days. And I like to think that with most things there really is no right or wrong, there is only what works the best for you right now, and what doesn’t.
What about you? Do you have a hard time listening to yourself first?
Thank you for that, Judy. I appreciated the opportunity to be reminded, yet again, of the benefit available to me when I slow up, shut up and listen up to my little voice.
“show up, shut up and listen” – I think I have a new mantra! Thanks! :+)
I am still working on trusting what I have to say. Is it valid? Do I need others validations to feel like my thoughts are on the right path? I would love to think I have moved beyond this, but there are days I don’t trust myself andy more than I trust others.
I am however making a conscious effort to stop, slow down and realize that I too have some very valid ideas and I am working on trusting them first. If there mistakes to be made OK, but some will always be victories.
Great post Judy. Thanks