Forgiveness

I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. I feel like it is incumbent on me to forgive anyone who has done me wrong, and I think that is okay. And I also think it is okay to remember that forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean that they are welcome to remain an integral part of my life. I get to decide who is and is not in my life, and, no offense meant here,  whether or not anyone else agrees with me does not matter. It is my life and my decision.

I have no hard and fast rules about this. The forgiveness part is actually not that hard; often the forgiveness is given before, or whether or not, someone asks for forgiveness. That is because, at this point in my life I am finally getting it – the forgiveness is something that I do for me, not for anyone else. When I don’t forgive someone, I remain tied to that person and the event. In order to move on with my life, it is important for me to let it go, whatever it is. I admit that this is harder for some things than for others, but forgiveness is my goal. There are times, however, when the person that I am forgiving has hurt me so deeply that I am not willing to be vulnerable around that person anymore. That may mean that I am no longer able to be around that person as much as I used to be. I aim to remain open and vulnerable, and if I can’t be that way around someone, then it is important for me to move on.

I admit that this is difficult for me sometimes. I believe in second chances, and like to think that I live my life giving second chances. But there are times when the hurt is so deep, regardless of whether is was the result of someone being mean or someone being clueless, that I have to move on, for self-preservation.