Responsibility

I am perfectly willing to take responsibility for things I am responsible for, but someone pointed out to me today that I very often also take responsibility for things over which I have no control. I have decided that I am going to work on that.

I have a disease that has definitely changed the way that I live my life. I can no longer do a lot of things I used to do. But let’s be clear, the reason I can no longer do these things is because of my disease, not because I have decided that I no longer want to. Yes, the decision to stop trying to do things I can no longer do is mine, but the fact that I can no longer do them was not up to me, it is due to my disease.

I am definitely sorry that I have to say no to some things, but being sorry I can no longer do them does not mean that it was my decision to stop them. So if I say no to you, please do not try to change my mind. If it were up to me, I would still be able to do everything I could before. The fact that I know I have to say no now is killing me. But if I say no, it probably means that I have already tried and discovered that I really can’t do it anymore. If you succeed in changing my no to a yes, please know that I am the one who is going to pay for it.