Don’t say it if you don’t mean it

Yes, it is a pet peeve of mine. Please don’t say things you have no intention of following through on. Don’t tell me, “We need to get together for coffee and to catch up – I’ll get back to you with a date,” and then disappear for years. I know things happen that make it hard to follow through, but here’s a thought…perhaps it would be better to wait to talk about getting together until you actually have time to do it. Maybe a better thing to say is “How fun to see you again,” and leave it at that.

I get that things change. I get that I am probably not the most important thing on your agenda.

But you have have set me up. Now I am waiting for your call  – actually looking forward to it. And when it doesn’t come, I realize that I am not an important person in your life. And that’s okay – I don’t have to be an important person in everyone’s life. But I thought I was  important to you because of what you said. If you hadn’t said it, I would not be waiting to hear from you.

Perhaps you say things like this because you think it is expected of you, as a social thing. Maybe you feel it’s like asking someone how they are, when you really don’t want to know – it’s just something to say. Well – that is also a pet peeve of mine – please don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear an answer to.  Really – a plain hello is a perfectly fine way to greet someone.

Maybe you really do want to get together, and life really has intervened. Then at least call and say so, so that I am not left hanging.

I guess the bottom line for me is this: don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I have little patience these days for people just blowing smoke…

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